Abstract: In this Op Ed we comment on how the debate following the TV show at RTBF on Bye Bye Belgium illustrates the deathness on both sides of the language divide. People argue from within their position without listening to the other side. Negotiation experts know that a true dialogue and solution may only be found if parties both listen with empathy to each other and assert their own interests clearly but with respect for the other side. This problem solving and collaborative attitude is lacking in the Belgian institutional context.