Abstract: This dialogue addresses oft-discussed questions of statutory and constitutional interpretation. The topics include the reasons for treating statutory text as determinative, the arguments for not treating legislative history as authoritative evidence of statutory meaning or legislative intent, the permissibility of excising absurd results and/or scrivener’s errors from a statute’s scope, the proper method of interpreting often-technical legal texts, and the differences between statutory and constitutional interpretation (with emphasis on the proper role for The Federalist in constitutional adjudication).